Sunday, January 16, 2011

Nod said, “A Poem Sprouts up into Loud Linear Viral Gasps of Sexy Orchards.”

The last scrabble match of twenty-ten was a cat and dogfight between Ashina (a nanny), Emily (a PhD in cellular Biology), Ahmed (an educator), and (of course) yours truly (a poetic bum). In the skirmish we tore our claws into the choicest grammatical filet mignon. The dead-things tenderloins generated waxed viral off the board with Tuner Pisco flying the jet up the stair and Quo Hun biding his time warring through tall cedar stands in the wadi.

An essential strategy to winning scrabble is knowing how to defend. Key to defensive posturing is learning the ninety-nine officially accepted two letter words. Soon, I will have them all memorized, but here they are should you too desire to be enlightened:  aa, ab, ad, ae, ag, ah, ai, al, am, an, ar, as, at, au, ax, ay, ba, be, bi, bo, by, de, do, ed, ef, eh, el, em, en, er, es, ed, ex, fa, go, ha, he, h, ti, hm, ho, id, if, in, is, it, jo, ka, la, li, if, in, is, it, jo, ka, la, li, lo, ma, me, mi, mm, mo, mu, my, na, ne, no, nu, od, oe, of, om, on, op, or, os, ow, ox, oy, pa, pe, pi, re, sh, si, so, ta, ti, to, uh, um, un, up, us, ut, we, wo, xi.

Go figure the board is warped
like iv

who knew all those q words
are officially accepted by scrabble engine
As you can see there are a lot of “aa” & “oh” words. The “q” words that do not require a “u” are also indispensable, because more often than not when you draw your tiles “q’s” are rarely followed by “u’s.” These bars of bullion that are worth remembering are: qi, qat, qis, qadi, qaid, qats, qoph, faqir, qadis, qaids, qanat, qophs, tranq, faqirs, qabala, qanats, qindar, qintar, qiviut, qwerty, sheqel, tranqs, qabalah, qabalas, qintars, qiviuts, qwertys, qabalahs, mbaqanga, qindarka, sheqalim, mbaqangas. Thus far, I have only about three of these "q" words on instant recall.

The endgame teemed with intrigue. I went out first playing the words tug and nu. It would have been even more glorious if I had won, but I settled for not dead last. I was pleased that Emily won. The final scores were Ashina 110 – 1 = 109, Ahmed 170 – 3 = 167, Emily 190 – 4 = 186, and me with a whopping 142 + 8 = 150 big ones. I was only seventeen points behind Ahmed. Seventeen points is almost like a victory over him. And the poems weren’t that horrible either. They were like the dishes a vegan would consume in Siberia by eating only the plants available in the environment. Scrabble poetry isn't the easiest pool of words to pen a pun from. If you are brave you can see them if you scroll on down and keep reading this loud leaking egg.

The words we played this time were equally challenging: jet, er / jo / door, job, sex / jobs, ef / xi / fie, tuner, quo, aa / ad, ropes / efs, do / or / nod, eh, on / na, stair / ehs, li / er / leak, hun, leaking, sexy / ye, pisco, viral, fir / pi, quoted, loud, wit, grove, za / aloud, aw, bides / grove, bi / in / in, jete / teem, fie, tug / nu—as you can see. I bet you, the reader, have already formulated a poem or tale of aw that you wish to deepen my mind with (as a comment below)!

The ehs of fie as written in the five minute cease fire following the war: can I do now...

Ahmed Screams Aloud in Grove Wars

groves war aloud
pisco leaking egg goo
jobs doors, ropes, toys
aa sex, na hun
nod hun, eh, bi bi

groves bid aloud za
aw fir quo fir? pro xi
do nod hun do nod
ropes ton quoted ton

groves teem a loud tug
fie fie aw na xi nu
aw jo, aw sexy, aw al tree

aw sexy jete' bo jete'
aloud, tuner aa
quoted aloud
a loud grove stair

Ashena's orginal (forgive me for editing it)

Ashena Quoted Hun

Tuner quoted aw-loud jet
Ton on Hun,
aw sexy
            bi-sex in roves

Viral sex, jobs, bids
Eggs in za
War in groves on
Stairs teem ropes

Aloud jete in a tug
Quo in aa al and re
Ix effs nu na     
Leak pisco in stairs



Emily's Poem (Shat...I did it again...I edited it)

Emily Viral Quoted

Sexy jobs by the ton
Tug ye leaking egg aloud
Fie! Fie!

War ropes in groves
Pisco toys
On jete doors
Nod sexy hun

Er wit teems
Al stair efs
Quo fir
Tuner bids

William James’ Stab At Loud Viral Sex

Nod ropes Hun
A sexy door toy quoted war
Fie Jete’s in leaking viral groves
Al nods

Al bi-sexed a job on Hun
on the stair, Fie
Jete’s in leaking viral groves
Hun tugs a ton of Nod's eggs

Down in the corner, I went out by adding a "u," which formed the words NU & TUG

Now I bet you really are dying to give this try. I won’t stop you from recombining the words played into your own clay pot of poetry. The comment section is down here. Please, knock yourself out.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

A Bloody Nave’s Oral Wet Slurp

Deep Words by Dan Handy
10082011 Scrabble Poetry Exercise requires your participation. Post your instant masterpiece at the bottom of the page (as a comment, thanks)!

The student-warriors present this week were Dan, Ahmed, and myself. I don’t have too much to say about the match this week other than that Ahmed was victorious again scoring 234, Dan finished with 195, and I came in dead last with 171 points.

Josh considers ordering the S.O.

Josh, another couch surfer, showed up too late again to play scrabble. Instead he was content to scribble geometric lines and patterns on a lacy napkin. He's a retired Microsoft programmer and creative musician. On a few occasions, Josh has composed, recorded, and mastered an album (of experimental music) in twenty-four hours.

Is Ahmed cheating? Is he planing his next play in the
...this must be why he usually wins...

I was close four plays in

my two big plays for 25 & 26 points

The spread was tight
...the writers exercise is at the bottom...

you get extra credit if you can read Ahmed's hand writing

Words Played: stabs, towns, grade / we / od / ta, get / tag / ode / wet, feigns, laying, zoo / of, bloody, owed / aw / ye / id, hid / he / en, offals, qat, qi / ni, nave, amen, tap / am / pe, tape / rend, peak / ad, yo / os, xi / in, qats / slur, pouch / slurp, oh / oral, taper / re / jeer, admit, vile, cut , zit, joy, mi

this is made of yarn

The Racer Café is an interesting joint. They serve good breakfast foods and the walls are a tribute to bad art. I spent a fifteen minutes photographing a few of the worst pieces. There are several portraits of Jesus (most are in the Obama room) and one of them, on the north wall, is composed entirely of easter peeps.

the cross eyed farmers union meets at the square

peeps jeer and rend the vile pouch

the peeping Jesus waits to be eaten
understanding follows digestion

The final layout of all but these four tiles: "I, R, U, & R."

For this entry, the assignment of the reader is to compose a short story or poem utilizing the words played on this board. There are plenty of rich words to utilize and you shouldn’t have any difficulty at all scrawling out a few lines. Please paste your masterpiece in a comment below.

Let's see if you can make the grade...

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

We Plow for Foxy Fox

The first scrabble match of the year was a success. Ahmed won by going out first. But in the second to the last play, Amy a language arts teacher at a Capitol Hill private school was up by eight points. I was so looking forward to a new winner. I was rooting for her. Her husband, Yven was also a good player he challenged Ahmed on OILPAINT and won, but the second time he challenged, the word BO, it didn’t turn out so well. Bo is an officially accepted scrabble slang word from the Arkansas, which means "friend, mate or boyfriend." If Amy used this word in a sentence it would be, “Yven is my bo!”

The final scores were Amy: 122 – 1 = 121, Ahmed: 128 + 1 + 9 + 24 = 162, Me: 105 – 9 = 96, Yven: 98 – 24 = 74. At least I didn’t come in dead last. Thank you Yven for challenging the second time and for not being able to play the Q or the Z!

We laid down some really rich words. Again, I had a great combination of letters that I couldn’t find a way to lay down. Vogue would have made a great contribution to this compilation of words: nosey, ee / ee / ye, yes / sir (this was my first play), fox, ill, foxy / ya, tower, slit, burnt, we / en / en, torn, sick, stuck, ah / hi, darn, wade, ut / um / mu, greet, paint / tut, dream, (oilpaint Ahmed’s word that wasn’t), plow / od, dream / pa, avoid, viler, gone / of / ex, lip, oil, bo / do, jo, an, nub.

Now for tale of how the fox plowed the poems:

Yven the Terrible the sick ill watchmen of the Tower of Vile

we Dream
wade yet avoid the tower
the burnt eyes of the watchman stuck to the nub of his lance
I plow the water

My torn chainmail lubricated by perspiration
The resident of the castle
viler than an ill hen
darn fox, should we greet

I feel worse than sick…
yes, tip of the dream.

---Yven (pronounced “Ivan”) 1/2/2011

Dream Nub 121

sir yes,sir, Princess Amy, we burnt the viler tower

Viler tower
we burnt
oh bo
ill torn fox,
sir ah, yee
nosey ut
do tip, pa
avoid “hi”
yes, foxy ya
stuck en wade, darn hen,
an od plow

--- Amy 1/2/11

oh Hen, avoid that ill gloom and that odd painted plow
 Od Painted Sick Dream
Bo, ye nosey jo
No yes sir, no
Avoid ill, its foxy towers

Torn, burnt, slit, stuck, sick nub
Tut, tut

Oh hen, we oil sick, j
Viler than vile
That od, burn the painted plow

Greet ex dream, ex dream mu
Ut ex nu, do pa mi
En em ee, um em mu

---Ahmed 1/2/11


Mighty Wizzard of ill, my name is Bo, I am power.

my name is Bo.
My ex is gone
tut, tut darn.

She was foxy!
yes sir!
A real dream slit


Avoid the painted slit
The tower burnt to a nub
Jo was viler than Bo

can't get more consonipated than this

In a dream
Ah Mu plowed for oil
We wade
      the dream

---My two poems

we plow, we oil, oh yess..plow...foxy fox

oh yes….foxy fox
we paint a dream
ee – ee – ee
ah – ah – ah
yes foxy fox
oh yes
we oil
we plow
oh ya…we do…
foxy fox
            …we do…

--- Josh (the comer who arrived just in time to write a poem) can I be prophylactic in this next play