Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Experiments in Fudge Packing

A Fudge Packers Success Story
 I’ve had all these other posts planned to write. Another Scrabble Poetry post from a game played last Sunday; that awkward Rainbow Contra dance (sponsored by the LGBTQ community) I attended yesterday at Seattle's Historic Washington Hall (this dance I should explore as a philosophical blurb on that genderlessness twilight experienced before the child mind transforms into the adult mind; that moment when boy and girls first begin to have an inkling that there could be a difference between them); and then I could have written about last weeks poetry slam  where my friend Carla (a short story writer) competed for her first time--- she composed one of the best spiritual religious poetic narratives I've ever heard. Further, as a side note: love and religious poems are very difficult to do well (another possible future post).

However, with the rapidly approaching holiday madness and that intense drama to see how our glorious overlords would vote on (my fate) the continuance of the unemployment extension, taxes, and all that other DC anti-people war economic crap, I decided to write about my adventures in making holiday fudge. Below are two recipes I came up with (or modified) based upon a recipe I found while surfing the net.

I made four batches total, but only three turned out. The tastiest was the fruity booze fudge, but it didn’t set up properly. It had the consistency of a wet freestanding brownie. I would like to see if it were possible to perfect this into something that is chewy instead of pudding like. My question is this, can fudge be made without evaporated milk; can it be substituted for booze?

Loosely Packed Fudge

Fruity Booze Cake

1 (7 ounce) jar marshmallow crème (+ a few additional marshmallow’s)
½ cup maple syrup
½ cup evaporated milk
½ cup booze (rum / whiskey)
2/3-cup butter
3 cups dark chocolate chips
1 (4 ounce) unsweetened bar 100% pure chocolate
1 cup chopped nuts
1/3 to ¾ cup dried fruit

Put the butter, milk, booze, syrup, extra marshmallows, and marshmallow crème into a sauce pan on low heat (stirring constantly) until the individual marshmallow breakdown and blend into the mix. Add chocolate and stir more till the chocolate blends into the liquid creamy madness and then add the fruit & nuts. Then pour into your well-greased cooling pan and pray for the mixture to set up.

Freshly Packed Fudge
Bill’s Gravity Well Fudge

7-8 ounces of Kraft’s mini-Jet Puffed marshmallows (8/10 of a 10.5 ounce bag)
¾ cup dark brown sugar
¾ cup evaporated milk
1 tablespoon Sailor Jerry’s spiced rum
¼ cup butter
3 cups dark chocolate chips
1 (4 ounce) unsweetened bar 100% pure chocolate
3/4 cup chopped nuts (hazelnuts)
¼ cup dried cherries

Step one: grease cooling pan and gathered the ingredients.
Step two: put evaporated milk, marshmallows, brown sugar, rum, and butter in the pan and mixed the ingredients together
Step three: turned the gas stove on medium heat and kept stirring till the marshmallows broke down and dissolved into the mix
Step four: dumped the chocolate into the pan and stirred till everything gelled together and began to stiffen up.
Step five: mixed in the nuts and dried fruit.
Step six: turned off heat and dumped the chocolaty richness into the well-greased pan and covered it with aluminum foil.
Step seven: placed into the refrigerator and prayed for it to set up.

A Fudge Packers Success Story 2
Addendum...spin forward seven hours...wow...this piece of fudge is heavy, beautifully smooth like metal. I think I need to rename this hunk of chewy glassy richness from gravity well fudge to heavy black metal grunge. This tastes like how the gripping noose of Slipknot or the Black Magic nights of Slayer or the gothic girly band Tristania or the experimental metal band Byzantine or how those final gurgling warrior breaths of Neurosis tone in to my ear. After sampling a piece I felt the crushing gravity of it as I passed through the event horizon of a black hole.

Hopefully, my four nieces and two nephews will enjoy this fudge for Christmas better than the thoughtful gifts I gave them last year that they didn't know how to process (like uncle Bill's mixed metal cd; where I compiled all my favorite metal tunes for my oldest nephew; I thought it was time for him to stop listening to the pop, pop rock of Lady Gaga and enter into that driving maelstrom of masculinity and aggression experienced only within the realm of heavy effing metal).

Last thoughts: I'm wondering, if I had used one ounce less of marshmallows and molasses (like 1/4 cup) instead of the dark brown sugar, it might have turned out denser and more chewy like my very first try at fudge packing.

Merry Christmas

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