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"She Told Them I Was Lonely"

I made a deal with my mother---
She's probably biased though,
having given birth to me and all---
In exchange,
she will stop
giving my phone number
to random strange men
she and my stepdad
meet at the dog park
Sadly, I do a lot more
daydreaming than doing
I'm a sucker for a period melodrama
because sometimes a girl just wants
a little smut dressed up in kilts
I'm the classic absent minded professor
vegetating with the cats
I spend my days
help[ing] people improve
their paddling skills
staring at a computer screen
Photoshopping jars of baby food
[this] probably says more about
what's next in the life plan
the plots I am hatching
my imaginary musical boyfriends
but it gives me something to work on
which usually keeps me pretty busy
and out of trouble
at least
until the beer garden opens