What do you do with a problem like Pedro

He climbs a tree and scrapes his knee
His kilt has got a tear
He waltzes on his way to Saydee’s
And whistles on her stair
but underneath his kilt
He lost the instruction book on his cock
I even heard him reciting a poem to the alarm clock

He's always hesitates for her sex
But his desire is for real
He's always waits for everything
Except for every meal
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
Pedro's not an asset to the orgy

I'd like to say a word in his behalf
Pedro makes me laugh

How do you solve a problem like Pedro?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Pedro?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Pedro?
How do you hold a beanstalk in your hand?

When I'm with him I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as a cat
He's as flighty as a bat
He's a starling! He's a demon! He's a clam!

He'd out-pester any pest
Drive a clarinet from its case
He could throw a whirling toilet out of flush
He is hard! He is long!
He's a pun! He's a dong!
He's a heartache! He's an shark!
He's a bum!

How do you solve a problem like Pedro?
How do you catch the sky and lay it down?
How do you find a word that means Pedro?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A frown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to yell at him
Many a thing he ought to really know
But how do you make him play
And listen to all you bay
How do you keep a wave upon the ground

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Pedro?
How do you hold a beanstalk in your hand?