Wednesday, April 27, 2011

National Poetry Month Disasterpiece

LABELS — November 16, 2001

Have you ever paused to read the labels manufacture’s stick on things in public restrooms?

This one on the cloth towel dispenser is particularly amusing

           "WARNING: Do not attempt to hang from
           the towel or insert head into towel loop."

Right, like some idiot is going to do that. Hang themselves from a towel dispense in a public restroom. I wonder how such a feat would be accomplished? I guess you could crack your skull against a urinal or sink fitting while working to maneuver yourself into a injurious or fatal hanging position.

A little person, from the hollow earth, or a child not old enough to read labels might be small enough to do it properly. But a child would most likely not be able to conceive such a fool thing.

However, I’m positive the label author did not have a suicidal little person user —with wet hands— in mind, rather a larger person attempting to suspend himself or herself off the floor in a drunken stupor.

“Failure to follow these simple instructions can 
be harmful or injurious [to your health].”

It is clear that this warning is the manufactures attempt to dissuade a person from committing a potential act of stupidity.

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