Sunday, March 13, 2011

Only the Finest Country Wines For Me

 How about if you read this like a comic book. I'll number the 
panels for your convenience.

(1) Salem the smallest big city in the Oregon it's population is
1/3 the size of Seattle proper and it's cultural level is 1/3 the size
of Willamina. My great aunt Marie called Salem a cultural dark
zone sixty years ago. Not much has changed save for the numbers.

In college at Linfield, we called the store Beer4Less. I wonder if
they have the products I am seeking?

(2) Shopping carts stretch into infinity. They fatten the
bellies of an opulent America too large to rise off their couches
and walk to the refrigerator and grab a sprig of parsley. I wonder
what the size of a shopping cart in India is or in other places
where people starve?

In the neighborhood where I live, shopping carts are the size of
hand baskets. Very few people arrive in automobiles for their
groceries.  We shop often like Europeans.

The carts at most Seattle grocery stores are half the size of
Costco carts (except for at Costco where the carts are
universally the same grandioseness).

(3) lets see if they have what I want
...nope...not here...junior mints 99
cents is tempting

(4) not this way either...natural organic
gluten free ding dongs & twinkies.
...what will they produce next?

(5) Ahhh...the wine section...and all my
favorite memories are stacked here too

(6) Hopefully I won't draw too much attention to myself
(this effing editor isn't arranging the pics the way I
want them. It's placing them in wrong screwy places)

(7) I've been wanting to ride the train
since I came to Seattle, but none of the
stores in my neighborhood sell it, because
some nice voters changed the zoning
laws on fine beer and wines.

(8) I started gulping this brand at 12
when I was confirmed into the Lutheran this was good stuff

(9) Strawberry Hill, I drank this by the
case load in High School after my sis
started college at George Fox.

(9) I graduated to Mogen David wines in college...the price...
$3.64 a can't beat that and 20% alcohol too!
 Tastes like candy and goes down better than cough syrup.

(10) Kiwi Lime was swill, but grape was great. I used to drink this
stuff under the train trestle in McMinnville. I wonder if Banana
 Red tastes better than Concord Grape? This is wine like my uncle
Leonard makes down on Wino Alley in Grand Ronde

(11) But driving Thunderbirds and Riding the Train at Night
was the best...the king of wines. There's nothing like screw
caps. Corks are for dorks. Tabs and screw tops are for real
people. You don't know a train till you've been hit by one.
(12) lets find an open register...hmm...
not here.

(13) This is it...the only line open
everone employed here was Latino
save for the manager. He was the
only white male present. I wonder what
the disparity between his wage and
everybody else's is? Hmm...

(14) Well, here's my ride for the day...
a Buick Century....this wine sure is
tasty. It sure beats that expensive stuff...
Too, bad I can't have it on the bus.

Did you know that Penhead Press has recently become a publisher? Well, it has and its first publication is now in amazon's kindle store. It is called Randomly Accessed Poetics, Issue 1: The Texture of Words and you can find it on the merchandise page (above)!

Follow Me on Pinterest


  1. Assuming people are obese because they shop with larger carts? Nice fallacy there bro. maybe buying more food at once means taking fewer trips to the store and burning gas. You do your name a great injustice. Did you consider that maybe Salam’s stagnant culture is because of all those “underpaid” workers? But hey you got show others how much more cultured you are AND post irreverent unimportant pictures of things you like, so congrats you have the legitimacy of a Facebook page.

  2. I went to this store specifically looking for those wine products because they had all been outlawed in Seattle.

    I don't see how having a FB page gives me any legitimacy especially given the fact that everyone and their brother and their brothers dogs and cats have one. Even having blog pages doesn't give me anything other than entertainment. But I think you were being sarcastic about the whole legitimacy. I wonder if that is what i am seeking? Hmmm.

    And I don't buy that whole "money" and "culture" argument. That just because an individual has more money means that they will be more cultured. Everyone that I know who is "cultured" is dirt poor working near minimum wage. And me, myself, I've never made much more than minimum either. People who engage in the arts rarely are wealthy. And most people who have my skill leave this world penniless. Cities that are considered "cultural" centers do have more wealthy people residing in them, but it does not mean that they themselves (the wealthy) are actively supporting the "culture" present. Wealthy people are more likely to support activities like professional football than activities like theater.

    I will admit that I don't much care for Salem. I spent a couple years there going to school. I also have family that lives there. And, as i said above, one of my immigrant relatives called Salem 60+ years ago a cultural dark hole. I think there is something else going on. A teacher friend of mine said that many capitol cities in America are cultural dead zones.

    As far as this post is concerned, it gets more hits than any other combined. I don't know why either. It is certainly the worst DISASTERPIECE I have written to date.