Saturday, February 18, 2012

Found on a flash drive...


A disastrous Craigslist Personal Ad

My name is Stanley Tweedle and I’m looking for a dirty little love slave. As captain of the Lexx, I get kind of bored with only a robot head and dead man for company. The Lexx is only the most powerful weapon in the two universes however; Stan the man has a stinger too.

So, what I am seeking is a sexy girl who likes to get wet playing beach games. As, you know the ocean—on the little blue planet—is wrought with many dangers. If you step on a prickly little sea creature or get stung by a jellyfish one has to act quickly to put out the fire of the sting.

Lets pretend that you are swimming along a deserted beach and get a face (chest or ass) full of Jellyfish. I’ll swoop down from the stars in my moth and swing into action as doctor Stanley Tweedle with a full tank of fuel and hose ready to douse your infected parts with the only remedy available. Then later, back on board the Lexx…

Fill in the rest of the story. I want to read—before we play—the thoughts of your dirty little filth starved mind.

William James, October 4, 2006


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