National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 30

Pandora's Valentine Envelope (Front Face)

Pandora's Valentine Envelope (Back Face)

---William James

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 29

Pandora's Valentine

Pandora's Valentine Anonymous Entry to listen attentively and patiently	Page 2    I saw you     Thinking     Big Trouble     Remembering...        A Dance        A Game     At some point in our lives,     we might as well be naked
Page 3    25% Off     Blowing Class     You just couldn't miss      a chance like this      Free first visit     Sleepovers with     Theology and psychology          Find out where      We won't sell you half a      Shoe     Condoms reduce the risk	The reason     Social justice     care and leadership     has ended     was combat     Like us     Pandora and jealousy     push through the defense       with little sleep

---William James is a collage writer. He builds short simple narratives from excerpts of newsprint (and other source) clippings.

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 28

Speak from the heart

NASA confirmation 2012 pole shift imminent

WikiLeaks set to reveal USA-UFO War

Something is wrong with the sun, moon, and earth

HAARP is killing the birds

The secret government wants us dead

NASA confirmation 2012 pole shift imminent

The earth's crust shifted two degrees south

Crustal displacement happens abruptly

Something is wrong with the sun, moon, and earth

Is this why NASA lies

What is the real reason NASA bombed the moon

NASA confirmation 2012 pole shift imminent

The moon is squashed in the sky

NASA employee leaked Doomsday info

Something is wrong with the sun, moon, and earth

Stock up on guns and ammo, you're going to need it

Get at least 675 feet above sea level

NASA confirmation 2012 pole shift imminent

The serpent bearer approaches

Planet Nibiru is hiding behind the sun

Something is wrong with the sun, moon, and earth

Weather radar shows something unusual

How much more proof do you need

NASA confirmation 2012 pole shift imminent

Something is wrong with the sun, moon, and earth

---William James

      Source: YouTube videos and their respective titles

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 27b

Gypsy

She inserted her gaze into mine

I turned the key and locked her in

She stalked to the right

I stepped left

We glided synchronized

     like broken hands around the face of a clock

She shimmered

     like a windblown blade of grass in the sun

I moved closer

Her apple blossom lips

     were animated into a nonverbal conversation

She tightened the circle

I frivolously brushed her arm

She embraced me lock-step into a swing

Her moist flesh quivered under the strength of my hands

I inhaled deeply her natural musky girl scent

My manhood was instantly inflamed

She pulled me smiling into her loins

---William James, 04/22/2012

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 27a

the end game

gambit

before

the dawn

of the American

Spring

---William James

      Image Source: The Oregonian, Friday, 3/23/2012, A&E Cover Page.

FYI: To read the print on the image you may have to actually go into the post itself and then click on the picture.

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 26

“Someday this war is going to end,” (Apocalypse Now)

But not for me

I fight a battle

that will not soon end

if at all

The things I have done

may be forgiven by a god

but not for me

Every day is the same

the bugle calls the dawn

I crack open my eyes

and the blood of my enemy

has stained my hands

in the night

It is a caked mucus

under my nails

I scrub with steel wool

I cannot get clean

In a shattered room

I weep for myself

I see no future

I see only the past

It haunts the rhythm of my heart

Even though I have returned home

to a world of security

I still recount my invasion

Quiet moments scream

bolts of guilt

in thundering storms

I will never be free

till the last breath

escapes

my bluing lips

---William James

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 25

 

Two Loose Septolet's

 

Blood!

The shark

was crazed.

It tore

 

an old man

into a

ghastly corpse.

 
 

The

scene was

beyond horror.

The rubber

body bag

 

was filled

with fleshly

gore.

 

    The word prompts: "shark, gore, rubber-bag, corpse," were lifted from page 26 of Peter Benchly’s novel Jaws.

         

Appearances... by Purple Mark

 

Appearance is an odd thing in Nature. Mostly animals

and people tend to blend into the scenery or Society’s notions

of how they should be, as a type of camouflage: in a ‘if I can’t

 

be seen, then I can’t be attacked’ mentality. However, there are

the colorful peacock males of fur and feather which don’t blend in

among the animals. In Humans, it is especially attractive to artists

 

and other free-spirited thinkers who enjoy turning themselves in

walking works of art. Then there are artists who delight in turning

their pets into works of art as well, much to the animal’s chagrin.

 

She appeared silently without fanfare, as cats do. She was sitting

there; staring at me from the end of the path; small, assured and

exquisitely beautiful. A cat, but not a cat - more like some ethereal

 

fairy creature covered with a mosaic of large turquoise-tinged

diamonds that spread out and enfolded her like the translucent

stained-glass shapes of a butterfly’s wings.

 

---Purple Mark, 04/21/2012

         

Purple Prompts:                                                                         

1. “She appeared silently and without fanfare, as cats do. She was sitting there, staring at me from the end of the path; small, assured and exquisitely beautiful. Her lithe body was covered with a mosaic of large turquoise-tinged diamonds that spread out and enfolded her like the translucent stained glass shapes of a butterfly’s wings... (Federico Raggio)” Burton Silver, Heather Busch Why Paint Cats: The Ethics Of Feline Aesthetics. (10-Speed Press, 2002), Page 7.
2. “...it is not intended to merge but standout in glorious contrast to the drab tones of most male dress. Strictly for extroverts, it is especially attractive to artists and other free-thinkers who enjoy turning themselves into walking works of art.” Colin McDowell. The Man Of Fashion: Peacock Males And The Perfect Gentleman. (Thames & Hudson, 1997), Page 98.

       

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 24

 

Facebook come up short again

It was sad that you weren't there

I will close my eyes in a few blinks

 

I have been busy painting

It was a rain snow mix

It was sad that you weren't there

 

Did you bring your 3-D glasses

It's difficult to reach things beyond your grasp

I will close my eyes in a few blinks

 

I had not seen him for eight years

Then nature gently and kindly took over

It was sad that you weren't there

 

I had fun playing outside today

I can still feel the sun on my skin

I will close my eyes in a few blinks

 

I went by your place

The dog was gone.

It was sad that you weren't there

I will close my eyes in a few blinks

 

---William James

    Source: lines extracted from text messages.

         

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 23

 

Porter felt ripped off

after seeing the “Spice Girls” movie

even though it was only 99 cents

Carla said to him as she slugged down

the sickly sweet Mogen David Wine,

“I am being watched.”

She slipped a golden fountain pen head

into the IRS envelope

and ripped it open.

Carla half expected a retarded

butt-poem about her close friendship

to the AP department to fall out

instead it was another bill for 99 cents

Carla handed him the wine

He peeled back the paper bag

from the neck of the bottle

unscrewed the cap

gulped the last of it down

Carla slurred,

“It’s funny poems in life ain’t shit without a joint.”

 

---William James

             

The Solution.... By Carla Blaschka

 

"The worst of human narrowness pours forth in the negative assessment of monographic work as merely descriptive."

What a whiner. I put down my book and surveyed the scene. A wet and shaggy corgi ran past looking for more fun with master. A photographer was filming people walking toward the camera for who knows what reason. A grungy crazy-looking tramp was kicking the gravel in the path while muttering mayhem toward somebody or something and at random intervals we would hear random drum beats from a group of Native American kids seated in a circle on the lawn. A small terrier raced hell for leather with a ball in its mouth away from its owner, then brought it back to demand it be thrown again.

I was in distress. My stomach was hurting and my chest was doing that odd thing again. It felt like I forgot to breathe and then I would have to gasp in a huge lungful. It only happened when I was anxious and I was always anxious these days.

I was contemplating ways to remove my sister's baby from her, and it was killing me.

It was going to break our family in two, but what could I do...she was acting crazy. I had researched post-partum depression online and she was showing all the symtons. Crying all the time, talking crazy about killing herself or the baby, ignoring her for hours and then calling me in the middle of the night because of some supposed health problem. She had phoned me at 3 am the other night to say Jeanette hadn't spit up enough after her feeding and should she take her into the emergency room! Christ, what a nutter. I was so worried about her. Every news story I'd ever heard about it featured some woman who killed her baby while it she was hallucinating it was Jesus and that it would come back from the dead or some such crap.

Was I going to wait until she killed Jeanette and spend the rest of her days guilty and in prison or was I going to intervene? I wanted to save her too, she was my sister and I loved her.

It wasn't like she had a husband to look after her. She wanted a kid so she got one, without regard to Jeanette's need for a father, without regard to what might happen if she got sick and now this. It was a rare day I could get her to meet me or even open her door, she just locked herself away from all of us, and she was so deep in crazy that she couldn't see it.

If I took the baby, I'd be a kidnaper. They'd find me and then just give the baby back to her. I was willing to sacrifice myself for Doris and Jeanette but that wouldn't work. I had called CPS but they didn't have the staff to handle "maybe's". Maybe she'll hurt the baby, maybe she wouldn't. I had called her doctor, but didn't think she'd convinced her to take anything for it. If I got more authorities involved, my sister would never speak to me again, and I'd never see my niece.

Fluffy cotton clouds floated in a baby blue sky, just like they did in Jeanette's nursery.

I could push my sister off the ferry, claim she committed suicide. That would save the baby. I checked my watch. The next ferry was at two-thirty.

But I couldn't. I loved her. I was trying to save her from infanticide, not destroy her.

My stomach felt like I swallowed ground glass, I was so worried. We were going to Bainbridge Island to visit Grandma and were meeting at the fountain, now sprouting green water in honor of spring.

A Seattle legend walked past, sunshine itself in yellow and a colorful pink beard. He stopped at a request to have his picture taken, and I noticed the takers never even asked his name. I had wondered before if the bright peacock colors he wore were really just his camoflauge, to hide who knows what precious gem inside.

What to do? What to do? I was so tired of this. Just worn out with worry and getting phone calls in the middle of the night. I was beginning to act crazy.

I wanted to save the baby, save my sister, save our relationship, get back to normal. I loved my sister. If only she hadn't gotten pregnant, this never would have happened. It was having the baby that had caused all the problems. It was the baby who was to blame. If the baby wasn't here, I wouldn't have a problem.

To get rid of the problem, I just needed to get rid of the baby. Bingo.

When the ferry bumped against the dock, I could 'accidently' drop the baby overboard, throw myself over to pretend to save it while I made sure it didn't bob up to the surface like a fat pink apple. Result: sister sad but saved, relationship strained, but hopefully saved. Nobody in jail.

Problem solved.

 

---by Carla Blaschka, 4/21/12

      Written alongside PurpleMark Wirth at Cal Anderson Park, Seattle.

           

Carla's Prompts:                                                                         

1. "The worst of human narrowness pours forth in the negative assessment of monographic work as merely descriptive." Stephen Jay Gould. Wonderful Life. (WW Norton & Co, NY c.1989), Page 100.
2. "I consulted my schedule again, which told me that the next ferry back would be two-thirty." Sharon Duncan. The Dead Wives Society. (Signet, c.2009), Page 100.
3. "6. Research Post-Partum Paranoia online" Diana Osgain. Bundle of Trouble. (Berkley Prime Crime, c. 2009), Page 100.
4. "Her ailment seemed more mental than physical." Theo Paijmans. Free Energy Pioneer: John Worrell Keely. (IllumiNet Press, c. 1998), Page 100.
5. An object: A wet shaggy corgi passed by

                     

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 22

 

I Cut The Cheese Out of the Paper

 

Over population is the root cause

of environmental destruction.

 

I have friends who call to apologize

when they get pregnant.

 

There are other options.

Check out the shredder.

Its unique patented design

accepts limbs of all sizes.

 

We’re hoping that condom packaging colorfully

depicts spotted owls and salamanders.

We want you to know

who the rightful heirs of the earth are.

 

Save sticks in a sack.

Throw them

at population offenders.

 

---William James

    Source: Eugene Weekly, Vol. 31, #16, Page 13.

       

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 21

 

In The Movies

 

Once upon a time, there was a blonde girl in an alley behind the Quick-Mart.

 

Once upon a time, there was this other time, a blonde girl fell prey to a hungry vampire in an alley behind the Quick-Mart.

 

Once upon a time, there was still more time, a blond girl, limp in the vampire’s embrace, read that man totally wrong in the alley behind the Quick-Mart.

 

Once upon a time, there was another upon a time that a blond girl in an alley behind the Quick-Mart got into a truck and drove down an ominous dirt road that didn’t lead to a cabin in the woods.

 

Once upon a time, there was another upon a time with even more time that a blond girl in an alley behind the Quick-Mart got into a truck and drove down an ominous dirt road that didn’t lead to a cabin in the woods, but to a scream in a tree where another blond girl became a footnote to a ravenous vampire, but was totally wrong about the horror of the story.

 

Once upon a time, there was even more upon a times, there was a blonde girl in an alley behind the Quick-Mart who knelt down to pick a penny off the ground.

 

---William James

         

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 20

 

That's good Spicoli, "I don't know," but Ms Hand Does...

Seeking a guy to sit in pj's all day playing video games with.

After I level up, we'll go out and

finish the final treasure hunt together in Seattle.

I want someone to veg out on the couch all night

watch American Idol, drink beer, eat chips, and scratch his balls.

Show me something I haven't seen before,

run naked backwards through a corn field on a warm summer day,

skinny dip at the arboretum at dusk, or pluck a banjo wearing an old dress.

I'm delightful from all angles.

Look at me, I'm in a newspaper!

I get excited about ridiculous things,

but I draw the line at mayhem.

I love all kinds of strength that aren't measured in muscle.

I also love short hair and glasses, and assertive opinions.

I'm too conservative to fit into Seattle,

but too liberal to leave---I like Yoga.

I am more into plunging directly rather than drifting,

exploring the world meeting people.

I got my shit together. Do you?

By day I live as a web developer,

by night you might find me with my arms

wrapped around a guitar or my cats.

Promise, you'll like me,

befriend me, then seduce me.

We all deserve some love action,

right, Spicoli?

 

---William James

    Source: The Stranger: Love Lab, 2/22/2012, page 49.

 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 19

 

Cross Out Savage Love

I am a 24 year old female

who likes to watch women

use the bathroom

We all have kinks

peeing isn't that big of a deal

shitting in front of someone is hard

We had a lovely night

We went into the bathroom very horny

I said, "let's fuck sitting on the toilet"

In case you have to go

you can be on top

I wanted to have sex again

She wanted to

drink some coffee

and smoke a cigarette

 

---William James

      source: The Stranger Savage Love: No Pressure, 2/22/2012, Page 55.

 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 18

 

Coast to Coast Montage

HAARP, Privacy, and Mind Control, we’re talking about all of it tonight

Sixty million year old dinosaur eggs discovered

In a sheer rock wall in Chechnya the size of bicycles

The bible is going down in terms of sales

The world is waking up

So many things bottle the mind

The human race is trapped in a prison of its own design

The authorities have the power to mind control people

Even Steve has never seen so many UFO reports in his life

He reports, a man sees a light larger than Venus

in the sky chased by F-16’s hoping up and down

Was it a sign from something in heaven?

For more information go to five hour energy dot com

What was that all about?

The monolith was the shape of the movie screen

The message is that an alien species that has been guiding us,

is still guiding us, and will transform us,

the human race, by raising our consciousness into a new stage of existence

Subliminal messages in Kubrick’s films

Apes become hunters and killers

A big black stone refines us and makes us better

Kubric was hired to fake the moon landing

For more information go to sacred mysteries dot com

HAARP is capable of affecting the climate or causing earthquakes

The way the parties are playing it, they’re so rigid

We need a brain spa to enhance our mental facilities

The mind control comes from this base

As you dive into those areas mind control is a fertile ground

Coming out of politics, it’s all about mind control

They’ve got this down to a science

It’s integrated into marketing, gaming, everything

Our thoughts are being controlled

Government has learned that fear controls the population

Fear suspends higher order thinking

Religions do it, governments do it

If you think about it this is a way to move a population

into a direction that you desire and then

you sprinkle in a little patriotism and national pride

and wah-lah the people do the will of a few

Hitler saw fear as a tool

An enlightened population needs to see beyond fear

The real test for this century is the use of technology

Sit down watch TV and people go into a zone

That can’t even hear a spouse yell that dinner is ready

They are going to use profiling on an individual level and on a grand scale

to move the scale 50% plus 1% and wah-lah, Mitt Romney is president

They can use music to influence thought

Commercial music is specifically designed to create a state of mind

Colors it is the same

When we come back let’s get into electronic telepathy

The forest gives us more than clean air and water

Today only 1600 grizzly bears live in the lower 48

This problem is closer than you think

Be sure to look both ways before crossing the street

Do you think sporting events were created to control the population?

If you go back to age of the Roman gladiators, what was that about?

It’s a way to disarm and deflect a population’s concerns about the present

The idea behind telepathy is that you are the radio, you don’t need a radio

The idea is to create chaos and confusion in the enemy

You drive the physiology to create the effect

How much of this is Machiavellian?

Politicians get fed propaganda that’s what they use to make decisions

Government scientists are the real ones in control

They aren’t elected

They are there before and after a politician is in office

They hope nobody has enough brains to ask the tough questions

That’s why you gotta stop watching TV like American Idol

Stop watching TV and regain control of your own mind

Mind control

This is what HAARP is all about

If they wait long enough they can play the game again

Fear is what brings Hitler’s alive

Fear is the principal weapon of the military industrial complex

That’s it for tonight folks

Let’s all do it again tomorrow

---William James

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Opabinia And Steampunk Starships by Purple Mark

 

The world we live in is a far stranger place than we realize.
We think we know what it is, but for a change of circumstance
it could’ve been a much different race than us which might’ve
come to rule the Earth instead of the Vertebrates.

At the dawn of Life in the Pre-Cambrian Era many odd Life-forms
such as Odaraia with its tubular carapace and 3-pronged tail;
Hallucigenia with its 7 sets of spine-like legs and back tubes;
Anomalocaris with its frond-like feeding appendages and iris-mouth;

and of course, Opabinia with its 5 eyes and fanged trunk that
made it look like a cousin to Alien were the denizens of the early seas.
However, Catastrophe occurred and they all disappeared,
leaving Science to try and make sense of what could’ve been.

For out of the 12 orders of Life which existed then, only 4 orders
of Life have remained and it was these from which all subsequent
animal Life originated. The Vertebrates from which the Mammals
came from could’ve easily been one of lines which is now missing.

Laughter is the most ambiguous of Human expressions
for it can embody 2 contradictory meanings at the same time.
The Scientist working on the Burgess Shale Fossils
had to overwhelm his colleagues with a reconstruction

of Opabinia so incontrovertible that all its peculiarities
could pass into the realm of simple fact and not fantasy.
Another Earth we could’ve lived in had machines that might’ve
taken us to the stars in Steampunk grandeur as early as 1895.

A Reporter looked with some apprehension upon the engine built
to navigate an Airship, whose wheels were not made to revolve,
but only to be set to certain combinations and he shuddered
at the thought that he might sail out into space on a machine

without knowing its combination. The Provisional Engine used
the action of the etheric forces of its Globe and Drum which
were activated and directed by tonal vibrations, instead of by the
other inventors of the time’s switches, buttons, gauges or gears.

The many choices which we both have and have not been taken
have placed us on this particular Earth out of all the ones
which might’ve been or is it the ones which might be if only we
had made other decisions at the other times?

 

---Purple Mark, 04/14/12

 
 
 

Purple Prompts:                                                                         

1. “He looked with ‘some apprehension upon the engine built to navigate an airship, whose wheels were not made to revolve, but only to be set to certain combinations,... The reporter shuddered at the thought that he might sail out into space on that machine without knowing its combination.” Theo Paijmans. Free Energy Pioneer: John Worrell Keely. (IllumiNet Press, 1998), Page 214.
2. “Laughter is the most ambiguous of human expressions, for it can embody two contradictory meanings.... He had to overwhelm his colleagues with an (sic) reconstruction of Opabinia so incontrovertible that all its peculiarities could pass into the realm of simple fact.” Stephen Jay Gould. Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History. (W. W. Norton & Company 1989), Pages 126-127.

 
 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 17

 

Fourth Grade VD Montage

Hi ya cutie

I'm not lion

You drive me crazy

No matter how you slice it

I've got my eye on you

You can't be beat

Hurry, let's be...

I hope you're on your way

1-2-3 You're the one that's meant for me

---William James

 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 16

 

Twisted Love Line Callers

I'm in a closet.
What’s up with you?
I have a social phobia .
I had friends before I moved.

What’s up with you.
The doctor said I have an anal fissure.
I had friends before I moved.
We were underneath some power lines, I was affected.

The doctor said I have an anal fissure.
It never hurts when I do it.
When we were underneath power lines, I was infected.
This is a harsh in your buzz.

It never hurts when I do it.
That's what disturbs us.
It's a harsh in your buzz.
How can I avoid this stuff?

This is what disturbs us.
It's like everybody got slammed in the head by a bag of doorknobs.
How can I avoid this stuff?
He was showing me religious stuff.

Did you get slammed in the head by a bag of doorknobs?
Did you open your mouth?
He was showing me religious stuff.
I don't want your DNA passed on.

Did you open your mouth?
It's like talking to a beanbag.
I don't want your DNA passed on.
I always choose the worst guys.

It's like talking to a beanbag.
I'm in a drum line.
I always choose the worst guys.
Could it possibly be because I have an asshole the size of a mason jar?

I'm in a drum line.
I have a social phobia.
I have an asshole the size of a mason jar.
I'm in a closet.

 

---William James

 
 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 15

 

CAPTURED CASINO CONVERSATIONS

It's 9:15 guys.

Where's everybody else at?

I just took a shower.

I gotta take a piss.

I want to watch.

That was a guitar hero score.

"Can't you see I'm easy."

Where are you going?

The universe doesn't like me.

I'm going to fight with a pillow any minute now.

Odds are high,

it's that same girl.

She's got a cute button butt.

Look at my moobs.

You're such a slut.

I got moobs on you.

"Girls just wanna have fun."

You don't look like a girl.

You look like a tourist.

All you need is a camera

hanging down your neck.

What is that dribbling down your chin?

I got a thing for ice cream.

You were flailing your arms.

I was in the pool.

Let's get to the room.

I wanna get caught in your fishnets.

It will be a sandwich.

"Drive me crazy, drive me crazy again."

Is that a crack whore?

She looks like a man.

Look at her ass pants.

She looks like she has two butt cracks.

"...feel the beat from the tambourine."

Oh god, she's gonna want to dance with me.

It's the same coming and going.

Here i am.

I got my score card.

I got my junk.

I got tired of sitting there.

You never remembered my name.

Did you fart?

You know i would never do such a thing.

That was a floater.

It was a real man eater.

It smelled like kitty liter.

Exactly.

 

---William James

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 14

 

I heard a poem today.

In the madness between syllables,

I was speechless. It sounded like

water as it bubbled out the side of a hill

whose virgin stream carved muddy

pocks in the soil. It sounded like

a creek as it roars over smooth stones

polished by suspended sand. It sounded like

a blue headed bird calling out

to a mate in the wind. It sounded like

a cloud talking to the sky

in a whispering vapor. It sounded like

a new blossom kissing a branch

in purple puckers. It sounded like

the shadow of the sun as it gently tugs

a blanket up a side hill. It sounded like

children jumping up and down on a trampoline

trying to reach heaven. It sounded like

a million people driving down the highway

oblivious to what lies below

their four tires. It sounded like

a dog lifting his leg

to spray a bush. It sounded like

...shit, I don't know what it sounded like

why are you asking me about this stupid poem?

 

---William James

 
 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 13

 

Savage Guidance

My advice is to give up.

You have to learn to shrug off a betrayal or two

and sometimes a not-so-minor annoyance.

If it begins to bother you, slap him down.

Tell him, Hey, big boy, you stink.

Tell him he is a sexist asshole.

Tell him your ejaculations are actually piss.

Tell him to drink it.

Tell him to like it.

Tell him he is a gay man.

Get a strap-on

Work up to buttsex over a week or two

Breathe, medical marijuana, deeply.

Brag publicly,

but don't be ridiculous with your words

the next time he spanks your hairy little cat.

 

---William James

     

with the help of Savage Love February 15, 2012

 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 12

 

At the inception of the idea

Hans Zimmer bangs out a techno

beat on wind chimes hanging from

his back porch. The dog barfs

a river of a silky white protein

drink and a long thin angry

red Cayenne chili. On a street

corner a disheveled woman plays

a sweaty waltz on a trash can lid

for coppers in a tin. A shoe shine

man is also there whipping

a blackened rag to a similar beat.

His customer sings, “My wingtips

have been spit-shined by more

than mere words.”

 

---William James

 
 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 11

 

Bi curious girl looking for experimentation - w4w

I’m looking for a special date on Valentine’s Day.

I am a 23 year old girl who is looking for some girl on girl magic!

A lot of people say I'm very cute

I'm 5'2 and have long dark brown hair

and I'm pregnant, about 5 months.

Can someone teach me a few things?

I can host if needed

but you would have to host most of the time.

My boyfriend doesn't know

so, this would have to be a secret.

I need to feel a woman’s soft touch!

I love being with other girls

but don't have to time with my work, school, and gym

to meet anyone to have some nice hot fun with!

I'LL SHOW YOU MINE IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS.

I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT SOME SEXY CHICK

CLIMBING UP AND GRINDING ON MY FACE LIKE IT

WAS HER FIRST TIME DRIVING STICK.

I love to play hard and don't bruise easily.

I have a fantasy...

I have always wanted an enema.

I think it would feel soooo nice having water squirted

up my ass then push it out all over your body!

Then you can eat me out and fuck me.

I have all kinds of toys.

Then I would rub your clit and finger you.

I am real and have no disease.

Just be yourself and we'll get along great.

I don't want my face all over the place.

Msg me with your picture and number

and I will call or text you.

 

---William James

       written with the help of Craigslist personals

 
 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 10

 
 

Recombinant Disjointed Facebook Comments

This day is automatically a success. I just joined the video chat room of strange visitors. Some dolphin-free tuna women had a hassle with a sweat lodge. Walt Whitman was watching nearby in a dark wood. You don't even wanna know how many Girl Scout cookies I just ate. Wow, my aunt went through the same thing when she was in college and it really pissed her off. How could a $50 blade produce such a crappy cut? Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Be afraid, be very afraid. I wonder if having a small number of sadistic friends is a good thing? I actually goggled and emailed him about manic episodes with bipolar disorder. Hey do you want to go get some Pho tomorrow?

In a celebration of love and an act of giving and letting go, Laura has a guitar, a balcony and a bottle of white wine calling her name. I just got a wild hair up my arse and totally crack cleaned my house and then I went outside in this beautiful weather and cleaned out my pickup and my flower beds. I can't wait. Yes, they took me to an abandoned octopus circus. A fox is in the hen house. And here we sit with the absence of lizards and heat. I devoured one with a glass of wine. I think I am just watching things to make myself more depressed.

This one kept me up until midnight Saturday night... Seems like I need a lot of fight and revenge stuff to clear my inner system. With it, a single growl rumbled from my chest. It was the one and only thought that began to run deep within my mind’s eye. "Illumine and hallow your hearts; let them not be profaned by the thorns of hate or the thistles of malice." I saw a young girl I once knew getting on the school bus - with her brother and sis. Friends of mine who make me feel beautiful live far away, a passionate kiss, a warm hug, my Grandma Doris, and sunsets. Good lord, are those gallstones Jesus Christ?

Is this the road we want to travel? I don't know how much longer I can take these bus-related let-downs and lies. The Imperial Empire definitely speaks to me. If you don't do what you do, how can you be who you are? People like you deserve to be alone.

---William James

 
 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 9

 

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---William James

 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 8

 

I had a dream
I saw a fetus with a cold
It was the same color as earthworms
It was in a cage
The floor was dusted by sawdust

A parasite had been released on the earth
It caused madness before the victim perished
A man shouted
“Hail Ceasar, we how are about to die salute you.”
He wore a tall blue hat
His sword turned to water in his hand
He danced with a cheetah
And won the day

Worms crawled over the unborn of the ground
Their unformed noses seeped wet with snot
The queen fly said,
“When the truth is ugly even a lie is beautiful.”

 

---William James

 
 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 7

 

Penhead Press Search Word Septolet

Replace
Communion Wine
Horse boner
Spice Girls spice-bus
With Bukowski’s
Night Train
Scrabble puns

 

---William James

 
 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 6

 

Good Friday

Yesterday’s grass
weaves into threads of rubber
decaying off spoked
iron tractor wheels.
A thrasher, harvester,
and an ancient Ford pickup truck
oxidize angry red
into the cracked clay
of the lot.
A barn,
ramshackled
by too many recessions,
leans precariously
into the forked crook
of a towering maple tree.
Twisters of dust
rip along a dirt road
to reveal poisoned grass
and sun baked cattle bones
in an abandoned field.
A gray blanket hugs
the bottom of heaven
and licks
the ground cold
with unseen tongues
of mist.
Crows gather
on drooping telephone wires
picking flees off each other
to stave off starvation.
The ground quakes
in bassy emotive sobs
of anticipation
for the coming tempest.
Two dirty children play
in a lone two by four yard.
They scream
in a delightful noise
blowing
clouds of soapy bubbles
into the air
oblivious to a world
gone astray
outside
their picket fence.
A vulture stands watch
on a knobby fingered
arthritic oak
—waiting.
A high pitched whine
daggers
through my ears
as the dream
collapses into a
foreboding
silence.

 

---William James

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 5

 

Size Matters

At a female friendly sex toy boutique

Learn tonal vocal techniques

to enhance bodily pleasure centers

Learn how to transform your man

with a life like extension

Rejuvenate physical touch

through an ancient ritual

New harmonics will open your cave

Together you will sing crescendos

in a lively chorus of two

 

---William James

 
 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 4

 

Pick a strategy

Activate your life purpose

Free from USA sweatshops

Find meaning in spiritual hunger

Live consciously

In the vineyard

Do great things

Take your time

Go slowly

 

---William James

 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 3

 

The process of death is the systematic removal of all that you love from your life. It is like taking a prolonged stinging shit. Instead of the toxic byproducts from digested food being eliminated, the essence which animates your soul will run like diarrhea drips out a gaping asshole. Increasingly, as time progresses, your body become will become fouled up by experiences unimaginable as a child. The taste of living will be yucky on your tongue. Eventually, even your wobbly steps will become torture and you will begin to lose hope of regeneration. As your last breath nears, a lifetime of anxiety about this day will melt away into anticipation and the finality of escape.

When I moved from the city to the country, I started to die.

 
 

---William James, 04032012

 
 
 
 
 

The Gathering by Purple Mark

 

In lavish circles whirling, they skittered over the water top

weird women flying, their snarls and tatters streaming,

laughing profanely like bawds.

It wasn’t All Hallows Eve or any occasion that those

who weren’t these Witches would know. Yet it was an occasion

for them as their little ones were beginning their way in the Craft.

Seven of them stood wide-eyed as the Circle was cast.

They were smudged and invited within the muddy Sacred space

as the Spring rains continued to come down to soak the Earth.

The Quarters were called and they each in turn faced

the High Priestess’s Athamé and intoned the words they had

long rehearsed to be perfect on this most important occasion.

Despite the rain’s fall they were glad that they were now a part

of the Sacred Sisterhood. The cakes and ale which followed

made them feel that they were indeed growing up

and on the way to attaining the wisdom which had passed

from Mother to Daughter for so many generations that

their lines were lost in the mists of memory.

As soon as the last cake was eaten and the last of the ale sipped,

the Quarters were thanked and the Circle opened and the Witches

old and new dispersed to the four corners of their town.

Rain fell softly on the town cupolas, chuckled from rain-spouts

and spoke in strange subterranean tongues beneath the windows

of the town which had no idea of the importance of the evening.

 
 

---Purple Mark, 03/31/12

 
 
 

Purple Prompts:                                                                         

1. “In lavish circles whirling, broomstick-borne, they skittered over the water top, weird women flying, their snarls and tatters streaming, laughing profanely like bawds.” Charles G. Finney. The Circus Of Dr. Lao And Other Improbable Stories. (Bantam Books, 1956) Page. 69.
2. “Rain fell softly on town cupolas, chuckled from rain-spouts, and spoke in strange subterranean tongues beneath the windows...” Ray Bradbury Something Wicked This Way Comes. (Bantam / Pathfinder Books, 1962) Page 112.
   

 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 2

 

Thirty two plastic chess men

march

in a band

playing tiny blue

French horns

Eight black poodles

chase the tails of eight white

toy chihuahuas

in a grassy field

They pause

In unison

to wolf down

fresh piles

of new born calf shit

 

---William James

 
 
 
 
 
 

National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 1

 

Notes to the would be leaders

in an enslaved world of hominids

Size Maters.

So, you better have a big one

if you want my banana.

Quote of the month:

Great flirtatious heroines,

high on the clouds of Olympus

jealousy, is a mother fucker

in a bathtub

blowing over with soapy bubbles.

Plan your new year’s past

with refracted bands of color.

---William James