National Disasterpiece Month --- Number 26

“Someday this war is going to end,” (Apocalypse Now)

But not for me

I fight a battle

that will not soon end

if at all

The things I have done

may be forgiven by a god

but not for me

Every day is the same

the bugle calls the dawn

I crack open my eyes

and the blood of my enemy

has stained my hands

in the night

It is a caked mucus

under my nails

I scrub with steel wool

I cannot get clean

In a shattered room

I weep for myself

I see no future

I see only the past

It haunts the rhythm of my heart

Even though I have returned home

to a world of security

I still recount my invasion

Quiet moments scream

bolts of guilt

in thundering storms

I will never be free

till the last breath

escapes

my bluing lips

---William James