Savage Guidance
My advice is to give up.
You have to learn to shrug off a betrayal or two
and sometimes a not-so-minor annoyance.
If it begins to bother you, slap him down.
Tell him, Hey, big boy, you stink.
Tell him he is a sexist asshole.
Tell him your ejaculations are actually piss.
Tell him to drink it.
Tell him to like it.
Tell him he is a gay man.
Get a strap-on
Work up to buttsex over a week or two
Breathe, medical marijuana, deeply.
Brag publicly,
but don't be ridiculous with your words
the next time he spanks your hairy little cat.
---William James
with the help of Savage Love February 15, 2012
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